Tag Archives: love of self

I’m officially Free…

Warning I just Quit Smoking Neon Light Sign

Today, marks my first month being free.  Yes, I am SMOKE free.  I ceased to suck in nicotine-filled puff on the night of January 30th, 2015.  I am celebrating today because I no longer crave for it.  It’s weird actually.  Let me tell you my story.

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It was a Friday night,  I was about to start my work shift.  I just finished my bath.  I made my “morning” coffee, sat in front of my computer and reached for a stick of cigarette.  This is my “morning” routine, (except that it’s 9 PM instead of a 9AM coffee).  So anyway, as mentioned I reached for a stick and, ‘lo and behold there wasn’t any! I was already in my most comfortable work clothes, my boxers and a tank top, (I work from home) and like I said, I was just out of the bathroom meaning I’m all clean and nice smelling and I didn’t want to change clothes again and go out and I don’t have anyone to ask a favor from.

So, I remember just shrugging it off and saying to myself, “Well, let’s see if I can make it through a work day without a smoke.”  I had a plan brewing in mind, just in case I can’t make it, because I know I usually can’t.  I will have to wake one of my daughters up in the most ungodly hour, just to escort me to the nearest 24 hour store about 2-3 minutes away, on foot and 1 minute away on a tricycle ride.  But we’d be lucky if there are tricycles around at that time.

And you know what?  I didn’t even get a hot-head about not having to smoke that day.  Didn’t fidget nor craved for it.  At the end of my shift and when everyone was already awake, I didn’t even thought of asking anyone to buy me some.  That was really awesome, wasn’t it?  I thought that I can push this a little further. “Why don’t I just go to sleep the whole day and wake up when it’s time for my shift again and see if I’d crave for a stick after that.”  And so I did my plan and voila! when I woke up to start work, I didn’t even thought about it.  No kidding.  I was as dumbfounded as I ever could be.

And since then, I haven’t smoke a stick.  I have crossed out the days on my calendar wanting to just document up until when I can go without a cigarette.  There were times during the whole month of February that I felt like taking a stick, especially since my partner is smoking around me and we have friends coming over who smoke too but I just close my eyes and pray real hard, asking “Him” to be with me because I didn’t want to start smoking again and I know “He” strengthens me because I get over it without breaking a sweat.

In that whole month, or about a week after I stopped smoking, I had the most painful withdrawal ever, I’ve had headaches — but those are bearable as I have migraine and that’s much worse.  What I had was something I cannot tolerate, I had mouth ulcers all over.  And it’s not just one or two but a lot.  I can’t eat anything.  I can’t talk that much.  I had to gargle and put painful medications.  And worst, it went on for almost two weeks.  I read somewhere and the article mentioned that if you’re trying to quit smoking, mouth ulcers may be a result of your body dealing with the change in the chemicals in your body.  Studies show that it is true and affects 2 out of 5 quitters.  I thought, hey I dealt with C-section pains, I can deal with this and it’s not going to be forever.

And true enough before my one month mark without a cigarette, my mouth ulcers were all healed.  And together with my health and fitness advocacy at this time, I think I’m off to a healthier and sexier future.  My kids were all so happy that I finally quit smoking..although they are the recipients of my tantrum escapades most of time, I just ask them to be patient with me as my body is still adjusting to the fact that it’s not going to get nicotine or any other chemicals from a cigarette, not now…not ever.

I am a fully satisfied woman to this date.  I have engaged in physical activities too and it’s so overwhelming that I’m not feeling out of breath after going down a 13-step stairs twice or even thrice and then walking about 2 to 3 kilometer destination as well and oh, playing badminton for 1 hour non-stop.  It’s great isn’t it?  I hope I can continue to be free moving forward and influence my partner to do the same thing.  We’ll see.  Breathe in….breathe out.

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