Deal or No Deal???

What’s the deal with these deals? vouchers, coupon sites and the like. I bought a coupon voucher for “unlimited wart removal” through this site called Metrodeal. This is a local site in the Philippines, i’m not sure if other countries can also purchase anything from this site mostly because the deals like restaurants, clinics, and other stuff are based in the Philippines. This is the first time I bought something for aesthetic purposes and honestly, scares the hell out of me. I bought the voucher back in December. The deal, as stated in the voucher, you would need to call in 3 days prior to your desired date for the procedure for reservation. Finally, i got the nerve to send them a text message and got myself scheduled on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 2:00 pm hassle free. The message I got was not something that I expected though. According to the person named Connie, the aesthetician would need to assess everything first because I might need to shell out money for antibiotics. 

I attached a copy of the voucher, which clearly says that it is an unlimited wart removal for the price of 299 Php either on the face or neck area. (that’s 7.36 USD converted, I know it’s cheap that’s why i’m scared too.) 

ImageOkay, I understand that part where it says that it includes skin analysis whatever. I would appreciate that too, but i thought, of course they would need to look at it first before zapping away, right? I text messaged Connie again asking for a ball park figure of how much I would need to shell out. She said 750 Php (18.42 USD) just for antibiotics. So, if you sum up the whole deal that’s 1,049 PHP (25.77 USD) so much for the 299 Php (but i also knew there was a catch). I realized, if i’m going to use the company issued HMO (health/medical card) I would only shell out 500 Php (12.28 USD) and my face will be wart free too. Wait, there’s more…I text messaged connie again, I wanted to know if I can just ask for a prescription instead of me buying the antibiotic from them (i’m sure it’s going to be cheaper in local pharmacy) and connie replied with she would need to ask the aesthetician first.  

Oh well, I still have 2 days and a half to think about it. I’m afraid that if I decide not to buy anything from them I’m doomed to be murdered by cauterization….




No regrets…just saying

It could just very well be a time in your life where you are at your lowest, this could just be why i’m writing today. This is me, venting out. The clock says 2:48 AM. I should be sleeping or getting ready to cuddle with you but no. Not tonight. Not the past few nights too. I’m sorry if i seem so lost and always forlorn, but that’s exactly how i’m feeling. 

The past few days…no, months actually has been full of what if’s and why not’s. Again, i’m sorry that i’ve been questioning what we have for the past 5 years in my mind. Arguing with myself, discussing things with myself. I know that maybe it’s because we’re so down financially nowadays, that’s why these thoughts never leave. Issues, financially related, always derail my thoughts. How could i let this happen? Why am I in this circumstance? I was trying to get out of the same sh#t i was in eons ago but hey! here i go again. it must be me. 

Money matter is a very big chunk of everything. i don’t like to think so, but i feel so. Worst part of the picture is i can no longer talk to you. I can no longer comfort you nor you to me. We can’t seem to start a conversation without hurting the other. Without feeling the blame. How can we go on? We start to be insensitive of each others emotions. 

No one knows when this ordeal will be over, but i’d like to think we can somehow talk like a matured couple. Let’s conquer this. Let’s talk. 

My wingless angel


This is a story about a man who i will not name. He’s the most snobbish person i know by far. A man whose disposition is uncertain. I have known him all my life but really Know the person he is? i don’t think so. There was once a time we fought. I can vividly remember the scene, I was watching tv. My favorite program was on air, and this man grabs the remote and flips through all the tv station one by one. Without saying anything, without even blinking an eye, as if i wasn’t there. I remember being 2 months pregnant at that time, i was very emotional, angry and hurt and all i did was snatch the remote and threw it at him with all my might. He stood there, fingers rolled into a fist and ready to strike. The pregnant emotional woman that I am just burst out the door crying and i literally ran. I didn’t know know where to go but i kept moving. I don’t recall where i stopped and who ran after me, it definitely wasn’t him. After that fight, (petty fight yes, but we were young, i got pregnant at a very young age  and you wouldn’t want to know our other fights when we were much younger) we never talked ever again. In a civil way, yes. We didn’t have the chance to say sorry to each other or anything like that. Years passed, he went abroad to work. He was a very good provider. Still, there were unfinished business between us and the distance is making us not just physically apart but more so, emotionally divorced. He’s been giving me financial help and we communicate with just a private message through friendster during the old days and now by facebook, me just saying thank you and a half-hearted take care. I was even such an ingrate thinking and telling myself that whatever help i got from him will be returned cent by cent. Things got  worst as we grow older and he seldom comes home, not even on a yearly basis and that’s aside from the fact that we don’t really engage in talking things over. Normally, we fight things over. Starting and keeping a civil conversation is not one of our best traits. Recently, I got into a fix I know I can’t get out of without any help. He was my last resort. Of course the usual banter and hurtful words once again come into play, but just as i was losing all hope, he just said yes. Now, recollecting everything good-gone-bad type of relationship between us made me realize a lot of things. He may not be the person who shows how endearing he is within the circle, he may not be someone who professes his love of family, he may be apathetic, he may scream and curse in anger, he may start growing horns in my eyes at times when we fight, I have come to see things clearly. God didn’t give all his angels wings, cause mine is a wingless, ill-tempered angel of a brother who looks over us in his own snobbish, scary way. I don’t like liking him that way but I love him Any way i could.

Internet and all it’s glory!!!!

i could never have imagined being able to talk to someone miles and miles away from me with just a click of a button, would you? well, if you’re the 20th century baby, you would probably think everything is possible. but for me, growing up in the world of snail mail (you need to buy a stamp or else they won’t deliver), where you would need to wait almost a month to receive a letter from a friend or a relative from out of state is something else. Having friends from outside of the country you live in is so tedious back in the good old days. But mind you, patience and loyalty are the traits being tested back then. It’s a wonder though, because i can’t remember how in the world did i ever had a “pen pal”…remember that term? A pal whom you’ve never personally met, but you write to each other every now and then? (using a pen and a paper…get it? Pen Pal?) so, i had a couple of “pen pals” in my younger years and up until this time, i’ll never guess whatever happened to them. But thanks to the next best thing since sliced bread, i can actually search for them and maybe rekindle the lost moments. i’d probably do that and blog about it again. 

As I lay me down to sleep

When slowly the night falls, all I can ever think of is the feeling of being alone. Unconsciously, I long for the smell that reminds me of a refreshing bath. Then I look around and notice that there aren’t any strewn clothes I would need to tidy up. No unruly bed covers I need to excessively remind someone to fix. No one to fight over the laptop. I have all the time in the world to tend to my farm. There’s no one reflected in the mirror in front of me every time I take a peak. Lonesome. Nobody asking me for something to eat or I need a drink or can we watch something else? There’s not even an angry voice echoing in my head telling me to stop whatever i’m doing and rest for a while, cuddle up a bit. But as I lay me down to sleep tonight, I’d close my eyes and feel your arms around me and your love embracing me. Can’t wait for the day you’ll be home. Image

The truth about failing relationships

Disclaimer: Everything that you’re about to read is based on my own personal perspective and  experiences. Some may look like I’m talking about you or you may think that i heard your story from someone one way or another but this is not always about you…this is about me! 

The truth about failing relationships or should i write, the truth about MY failed relationships are a typical breed. First, I don’t believe in the saying “what you don’t know won’t hurt you”, baloney! In my past relationship which ended about 5 years ago, that’s the mantra “he” used to follow. Didn’t even occur to him that the hills have eyes, gossips spread like wild flower and that news can reach me at the fastest speed he can ever imagine…gets home before he does! Next is the part wherein the gossiped person denies with all his might whatever story the wind has blown to the front door. So there, the most essential part of a relationship has been broken, Trust. Irreparable, irreplaceable and hard earned trust. Now everything else seems so little compared to a broken trust, correct? Hell, yeah! But, I bet you’ll agree with me when I say there are more than 1 “second chances”. It can go up to as many as “forever second chances”, because at some point we also question our own worth in a relationship. Then we go to the second on my list why my past relationship failed. Silence. Keeping your mouth shut, i found out, is never a good thing especially when you wanted so bad to say something and you just stood there and say nothing? Yes, it’s true in my case too that nagging is a no no. I can only understand why the recipient of the most hurting words can just put up a wall and be still like a statue as if you’re not even there. Hello? How are we supposed to end a fight without talking? But the true sense of what i’m trying to drive at is, what if the hurting words are over? what if I wanted to say I’m sorry? or what if I wanted to really take back every hurtful word I’ve said and just ask you to forgive me and to start over, this time without the spite? I learned that I have to say it out loud or else things will be out of hand. Third is the press release “you’re forgiven” but deep inside, “i’m-gonna-let-this-go-now-but-you’ll-never-hear-the-end-of-this” thought lingering. This is the part where “let’s not bring the past time anymore” song lyrics is playing on my mind. Bringing the past can never ever ever help in a relationship, but like what i used to say, there will never be a past to bring up if we fixed it at that moment. True? Absolutely!!!  Then last but not the least, honesty. Most often than not, we tend to forget that we have a partner for a reason. Now, keeping all problems to yourself is not healthy. May it be financial, emotional or spiritual. I learned that no matter how deep the problem may be, if you have someone, things may not be so bad. So there, i summed up all reasons I can think of why my past relationship failed. I am on a journey again, I can’t say I’m perfect. Who knows, some of these things are happening all over again, but now i’m confident that I can say, it’s just going to be a breeze. Next time, I might just be talking about the truth about successful relationships. 

Price tag

Makes you want to sing, right? I’m LSS-ing (Last Song Syndrome) on this particular song and it suddenly made me want to write something. Nice guess, yes, of course it’s about the money! I read somewhere that when people say it’s not about the money, it usually is. My take on that is, well, everything IS all about currency. When you wake up in the morning before everything else, you’d want coffee right? One currency down. What’s the best thing to do while you’re having coffee? Cigarette!!!! (if you’re a smoker) Newspaper, to some. Again, money there!!! I wouldn’t want to go on and reiterate how much money I am spending all throughout the rest of the day. I can’t even imagine counting it to the last cent and that’s just for my personal consumption. By golly, I have 3 kids and I just don’t want to go there right now (shaking my head, vigorously). So, why am I writing this again? Oh yeah, well just to prove to myself that money makes the world go round. I can’t even think of a single thing to do without using the root of all, evil as the saying goes but for me, it’s THE root of all things may it be good or bad. There’s nothing, absolutely nothing (material things, I mean) we can have for free and I’m talking about necessities even! Maybe, there’s a little hint of bitterness on my end (because I don’t have money? haha, but true that!) or maybe this is my rebellious way of saying “i hate sin tax, i need my cigarette now!” or this is from the random thoughts of an unemployed person (maybe that last one is hitting the high notes) nevertheless, I’m pretty sure a lot of people can surely relate to what i’m saying (or it could only be me, poor me). All I’m saying, really, is let’s not listen to nonsense songs like price tag…JOKING!!! I am just joking, I love the song, it’s giving me good vibes among all other things. Seriously, I just wanted to remind myself to be frugal and wise in spending hard earned money or even money acquired without a sweat because worst comes to worst, it’s your future and your family’s future at stake. Once and for all, It’s all about the money, money, money…We all need that money, money, money…peace Jessie J.                               

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